Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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