Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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