Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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