I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
