I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
