you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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