So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
