Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
