Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
