Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
