Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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