i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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