How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
