put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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