I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
