The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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