Non-Jews are for practice
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have post one night stand depression
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
