I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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