The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
