her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wish there were birth control emojis
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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