So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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