i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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