True but thats because hes a fetus.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
