I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am one with the molecules
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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