Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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