i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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