Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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