i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
