I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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