Apparently you make a good broom.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
