Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
