i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
