Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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