Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
