Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
