Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
