the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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