absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
