you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize