Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize