; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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