what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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