found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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