Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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