"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we made out on top of his cat.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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