maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize