But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
