I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
