My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
