You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
