i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have already put on my inside pants.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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