I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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