I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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