Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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