My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
