We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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