We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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