I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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