i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
