Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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