Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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