The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
