did you get engaged???
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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